


Ocean Café

by Small_Hobbit



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV), Stargate Atlantis, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 15:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20566493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: When John Watson was invalided out of the army, taking over his aunt's seaside café seemed like a reasonable opportunity, given the lack of any others.





	1. John Watson

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DW's Cross Over Coffee. 
> 
> Different chapters will feature different patrons.

It wasn’t a bad place to be living, John Watson thought, a small town on the north Cornish coast. Admittedly, it wouldn’t have been his first choice of somewhere to settle, but being invalided out of the army wouldn’t have been his first choice either. So, when his aunt had suggested he might take over the little sea front café from her, he’d decided to see if he could make a go of it.

The café had living accommodation above; only a small flat, but big enough for him. It even had a second bedroom, should any of his mates want to visit. That seemed unlikely, but it was worth keeping in mind.

The first couple of days passed in a bit of a whirl, but by the third day John felt he was starting to get a handle on things. He had taken over cooking the breakfasts, releasing the lady who’d been doing them to return to baking scones and cakes for the afternoon teas.

Most of the morning customers seemed to be visitors, often walkers who stopped for a ‘good breakfast’ before tackling the next part of the cliff path. But John recognised the occupants of two of the tables as having been there every day so far. One pair comprised of a grey-haired older man, who seemed to convey a level of authority John recognised from his time in the military, whilst the other was a younger man who seemed to take great delight in contradicting everything the first one said.

At the other table a man sat by himself. He spent most of his time working on a laptop, thumping the keys and muttering, “Imbeciles, imbeciles, imbeciles.” As John watched him, the man’s phone rang and he grabbed it, shouting “Sheppard, what’s been keeping you?” John would have assumed it was simply a business call, but he saw the man give a sudden fond smile as he said, “Yeah, me too,” before finishing the call and returning to pounding the laptop keys.

John would have liked to continue speculating about these apparently regular customers, but a family of walkers came into the café and ordered full English breakfasts all round, so he returned to the kitchen.


	2. The Power of Persuasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hermione Granger & Thorin Oakenshield

Hermione Granger entered the Ocean Café and looked around her. 

The man at the counter greeted her warmly saying, “Good morning. Can I help you?”

“I’m supposed to be meeting someone here,” she said.

“There’s a gentleman over at the corner table who said he was waiting to order until someone arrived. Is that who you’re looking for?”

Hermione glanced over and saw a man with black hair tied back and a keen pair of blue eyes regarding her carefully. “Yes, I believe it is.”

“I’ll be over to take your order in a couple of minutes,” the café owner said.

Hermione walked over to the table and sat down. “Hermione Granger,” she said.

“Thorin Oakenshield,” the man replied.

“Gandalf said you were a dwarf,” Hermione said.

“I am. That interfering wizard has used one of his spells so I can join you without looking out of place.”

“You do look rather tall for a dwarf.”

Thorin snorted.

The café owner came over. “What can I get you?” he asked.

“Are you still doing breakfasts?” Thorin said.

“Yes, up until midday.”

“A full breakfast, then, please.”

“And for you?” He turned to Hermione.

“Croissant and a coffee, please.”

“Certainly.”

When the man had departed, Hermione turned back to Thorin. “I must admit I was surprised by Gandalf’s suggestion we meet here,” she said.

“It’s not far from one of the access points to Middle Earth, and yet conveniently far away for anyone from your world to notice my arrival.”

“You know why we’re meeting?”

“You want our assistance with replacing some counterfeited regalia.”

“Yes. We know how skilled dwarves are at metalwork.”

“Why not catch the counterfeiters and retrieve the originals from them?”

“That could have unfortunate consequences.”

“Oh!” Thorin looked interested, but Hermione refused to give any further explanation.

They sat and looked at each other, until the café owner brought the food. While Thorin started eating his eggs, sausage and bacon with great enthusiasm, Hermione considered her options. Gandalf had given her the impression that the dwarves would be keen to help and an appeal to their vanity would be all that was necessary. Clearly this wasn’t the case.

“We would, of course, be happy to negotiate a suitable fee,” she said.

“I might need to consult with my colleagues,” Thorin said.

“We would be grateful if the work could be started sooner rather than later. Gandalf led me to understand we should be able to settle the fee at this meeting.”

Thorin raised his eyebrows. “Did he now?”

“We would pay half up front when we gave you the counterfeit goods, and the second half on receipt of the new regalia.”

“We are rather busy at the moment. We have wedding ornaments to be made.” Thorin smiled at Hermione, and she tried not to grind her teeth. “Nevertheless …”

“Please, Mr Oakenshield, just name your price.”

Thorin took a notebook out of his pocket, wrote an amount on it, tore the sheet out of the notebook, and passed it over to her.

“What?” she exclaimed involuntarily.

“Ten per cent deposit now, and we’ll knock a further five per cent off the final total.”

Hermione swallowed and opened her bag. She took out all the gold she had been carrying and passed it over. 

Thorin stowed it in his coat pockets. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you, Ms Granger,” he said.

Hermione stood up. “And you,” she muttered. “And now I need to get back to the, er, office.”

“Of course. Don’t worry about your bill. I’ll settle up for both of us.”

Hermione glared at him and hurried out of the café to find somewhere she could apparate back to the Ministry. She was tempted to give Gandalf a piece of her mind, but suspected he’d known all along how it would go.


	3. Never Jam Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alice from Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass

The first rush of the day was over, and John Watson had time to look around and see who was currently in the café. As expected, the mismatched pair were sitting at their regular table in the window, arguing about something once more. They didn’t seem to do anything but argue, but on the rare occasions when only one came in they appeared totally bereft, so John assumed the arguments didn’t have any weight.

He was pleased to see his other ‘regular’ was back. He had been away for a week, but now was once more thumping on the keys of his laptop, alternating between muttering ‘imbeciles’ and ‘morons’. Every so often the man would look up and indicate he needed another cup of coffee, and then promptly return to whatever was aggravating him on his laptop.

There was one other customer, who was sitting at the far end of the café talking rapidly on her phone. John went over to clear the tables where the earlier customers had been eating their breakfasts and could hear her quite clearly.

“No, that’s no excuse. You knew I was going to need the information this morning, so stop making excuses and Get On With It! I warned you she was bound to bring the meeting time forward to before lunch, so I shall need the data in precisely one hour.”

She rang off without saying goodbye, and glared at her phone, before stopping to spread jam on her toast. At that point her phone rang.

She snatched it up. “Yes?” She listened and then said, “I told the Dodo to organise it. If you’d bothered to read the rules, you’d know there’s no set start or finish. You just need to provide the prizes.” She paused and added, “Obviously everybody wins. That’s why they all need prizes!”

Once more she put her phone down to finish spreading the jam. She was about to start eating it, when her phone rang once more.

“What now?” she demanded. “Yes, one dozen red roses. And do not be fobbed off by white roses just because they are cheaper. And please check my croquet mallet; I shall be playing this afternoon and the head keeps twisting round.”

She rang off, glanced at the time on her phone and sighed, before carefully wrapping her toast and jam in a serviette. “I shall have to eat this later,” she said. 

She stood up and walked over to the antique mirror at the back of the café. John picked up her mug and plate and when he turned round she had disappeared.


End file.
